Dull, Deep, Dark and Dangerous: Boredom

Why is boredom terrifying?

Not a question that comes up frequently, but just think. Think about what boredom actually does.
From experience, boredom changes people. Not for the better either; no, boredom makes people bad. It makes people angry, grumpy and intolerable.
It makes people desperate.
And desperation is, in itself, a terrifying mind process. Desperation leads to crime, it leads to war, it leads to murder.
Now obviously, I'm not saying that sitting still in an exam room for two and a half hours is going to make someone a murderer. But it is going to change them.

Think back on all the different ways to reach Boredom; a wet Sunday, waiting for a bus, an exam, a long car drive etc. What was the main part of being in the Boredom Phase?
It wasn't tapping your fingers on your knees.
It wasn't staring out of the window.
It wasn't tapping your feet.

It was the pure desire for the boredom to end; the overwheling want. For you to reach your destination; for the bus to arrive; for the exam to end.
It changes you.

Firstly, it will play with your emotions. Makes you angry. It makes you agitated and restless.
[It also makes you annoying - who else hates foot-tappers and quiet-hummers in exams?]
No-one has ever been happy whilst bored, the two states of mind are not synonymous. Boredom only changes humans for the worst; it makes us intolerable.
I hate being around bored people because they don't talk properly, they often swear increasingly frequently, and personally, I dislike being around grumpy people anyway.

Secondly, it plays with your mind. Once Boredom has its fingernails deep in your emotions, it'll let your mind wander. It'll allow it into a realm which psychologists would deem wrong.
Boredom darkens the mind.
If bored on a long car journey, you want it to be over - so you want the driver to go faster. There's no thought about whose lives are in danger by doing so, you just want it to end.
The same for waiting for a bus - the bus must go faster to reach you; skipping traffic lights and zebra crossings. The boredom must end.
And what student hasn't wished for a fire-drill [or an actual fire] to halt an exam?

Boredom is actually a deep, dark and twisted subject matter to study. Yet it seems, on the face of it, that most people don't consider looking at boredom. Why?
Because it's boring
Ironic isn't it?
Even thinking about Boredom is boring; thus we don't.
And with our emotions and thoughts ever changing so, it seems that as a race, we want to avoid Boredom as much as possible.
Don't believe me?
Television, Radio, Video Games, Books, Magazines, Board Games, Word Puzzles, Drawing....the Internet - all of these things are unnecessary entities. So why do they exist?
Recreation. Pass-times. Hobbies. Fun.
And what's Fun's greatest and opposite enemy?
Boredom.

So let's move into the really deep and scientific stuff. With all this in mind, is boredom something we are bred or developed to loathe? Be honest, if you know a boring event is coming up, you won't exactly be filled with optimism and enthusiasm.
But why is this?
Boredom in itself doesn't hurt anyone. It just exists as a void between two happenings - the line between A and B. Yet everyone seems to despise this line; children especially.
Hence, I ask why, and would actually love a theory.
Is it because we begin life with nine months in a small space doing absolutely nothing and we'd like to make up for it?
Did evolution (or God for a kind of balanced argument) land us with ridiculously short attention spans?
It is just another kind of basic, underlying fear? The fear of nothingness, stretching out into infinity and offering nothing but isolation?

[I did warn you it was deep]

So that's my case. This random thought came up in an equally random conversation with a close friend of mine; but like so many of these inspirations, that little idea can be focused on and developed.
And to be honest, after a lot of thought, I don't have an answer to the question "is boredom terrifying". If someone could provide one, or just an in-depth discussion about this topic, I'd be greatly interested and grateful.
Keep your brains working, and we end on a final note from the 2010 Christmas episode of Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol. The Doctor, thinking aloud, ponders:
"How did boredom ever get invented?"

Peace out.

I'm one more grumble away from Werther's Originals and Midsummer Murders

I feel I've been rather unfair in my title, come to think of it. I actually enjoy Werther's Originals. Midsummer Murders, however, you can drop down a well along with a lit match and some bottles of sherry.
May want to stand back first.

Anyway, I'm now going to complain about something which seems to suddenly smack people our age in the face like a wrinkled haddock.
Age.
It's simple really: we teens just don't want to grow up. We're currently at that, frankly, blissful part of life where you can leave home to party and go to university, but can always return home if things go tits up. We can sleep until the latter part of the day and argue that pjs really are the upcoming fashion. Our attention span is outweighed by our alcohol intake and if you can balance University work with gaming, you're perfect.

So yeah. That's life for us students. Who wouldn't want to stay like that forever?
But constantly, we are dragged back into that pit hopelessly named The Real World with little reminders of what's in store.
Working, for example. Don't worry, I know I've already bitched to high-heaven this year about employment, so I won't repeat myself. But putting a laid-back student into a working environment is not unlike putting a cat in a Pet-Carrier. We just don't want it.
Right, jobs. They're the little reminders of what life's actually about? 
But you wanna know what's really getting me down? Things that used to be fun.

Birthdays, for example. I'm not joking, my 19th birthday was SO depressing. Nothing happened. Or, at least, next to nothing happened. I woke up. I got dressed. I got a few gifts; mostly because I could no longer form any thoughts as to what I wanted as a gift
[Plus, as much as it pains me to say it, I already had bought a load of stuff with money from my....sigh....job]
But that was it. I remember thinking "Well, one year older."
Yup. Birthday - tick. One of the lowest days of my life, because I realised in that moment that all the fun ages were over (and don't give the same bullshite about turning 21 - we're not American, we can already do everything) and from this point on, going one age up was going to change from 'fun' to 'time consuming'.

Then Christmas. Now I've already had a rather low Christmas - last year's one. I woke up at 11am, rolled over and thought "there is not one single iota of excitement or happiness in me right now". So guess what? I went back to sleep.
To be fair, I got absolutely none of the exiting Christmas build up last year. In Halls, we had no decorations what-so-ever, or any radio to stick on Christmas Carols in the morning. No tree. No excitement or buzz in the air. Just 8 teen students living in dank conditions.
[Bitch bitch bitch, I know!]
This year's been a bit better in actual housing. We have a tree, which we put up ourselves. There's presents under it, I've got coloured lights in my bedroom, we made stockings, paper-chains...
And still, if more than three adverts on TV say "Christmas!" in a row, I just get grumpy. I'm such a Scrooge now. Even advents calendars are falling into disuse. I didn't get one at Uni last year, but I did when I got home. So I sat, playing my PS3, eating 16 little squares of Milkybar Chocolate to myself
(On a weird side note: anyone else noticed advent calendars getting stingy and cheaper on the chocolate? Thank you, Jamie Oliver!)
But what's really sad is I didn't even want all 16 at the time, so left them. And then forgot until about the 23, so ate another load of them to myself in a go. If this isn't aging gracelessly, I dunno what is.
Plus tradition changes this year - rather than Christmas at home, it's Christmas at my sister's in Plymouth. Which I don't really mind, I'm actually impressed that she's taken on such a huge task. But even then...it's just not the same is it?

We're all aging. Everything's changing. From what I can see, not for the better.
And in those two, godawful words which I blogged about recently:
"That's life!"

Life? Don't talk to me about life

With a depressed 19-year birthday passed and an unexciting Christmas coming up, it's pretty safe to assume that a) I'm growing up and b) like so many people may age, I hate it. And whether anyone ever reads this or not, I'm gonna have my bitchy five minutes about it all.
Get ready for a rant.

It seems that in our daily routines, spanning from anywhere between 18years to 120, we really do exist in ridiculous Catch-22s. And it also seems that should you ever point this fact out to anyone, they just say "That's life!"
And for over 19years, I have heard that phrase over and over again, just accepting it. But not anymore. It's finally time to learn what life actually is.

To live a balanced life, you need:
Money
Health
Hygiene
Shelter
Companionship/Family
Employment
Education

In no particular order, you understand. Although in this ever suffering society, it seems that without money, things fall apart.
Anyway, these things, add probably a few others which have escaped me, all need to be balanced and included. And it's absolutely fucking stupid.

IF you manage to get through 18+ years of education, you then need to get a job so you can sustain yourself and get through life. If not, you'll end up on the dole with no self-respect and other tax-paying civilians loathing you. Or dead, which seems like a more appealing offer.

So at long last, you find a job. Great. Now you need somewhere to live. But don't take time off work to find one, or you'll go back to square one.
Now you've got somewhere to live? Is it in a nice place? Is it in an acceptable condition? Are the neighbours twats? etc etc etc. Don't forget gas, water, electricity, Internet, heating, lighting, phones, furniture, food, commodities and little pleasures - IF you can still afford any. If you're also trying to raise a family along with everything else, good luck to you.

By now, education, employment, money and shelter have already come into it all. You might not even be out of your teen years yet. Now let's move into health and hygiene.
Get a shower once a day and brush your teeth twice a day - if you have enough time before and after work.
Make sure you get at least 30minutes of exercise per day - if you have the time/equipment/whatever else. And make sure you don't exercise TOO hard, or it'll require time and money for a doctor.
Eat at least five pieces of fruit or vegetables a day. But watch out, some fruit can often erode your teeth - so be ready to make time and pay for a trip for the dentist.
[Also be ready to protect your eyes, your ears, your nose, your hands, feet, arms, legs and basically everything else. Any one of these things fails and you're in trouble. Better hope you have money to pay for it too. Not easy if loss of limb gets you off work]


How's life going for you so far? If doctors, dentists, contractors, decorators, gardeners, dole-office-users, electricians, call-centres, bankers, opticians, chiropractors, gym-assistants, cleaners, teachers, kids and employers haven't got you down yet, you'll be just thrilled to know that it's all for jack-shit. Even if you're famous, there will eventually come a day when you will be entirely forgotten. You know it's true. Not forgetting either that the world will end someday - through our intervention or nature's. So why make the crap parts of life so damn important when eventually we'll just all be whiffs of carbon, oxygen and hydrogen all over again. My advice: have all the fun you can while you can. Nothing's forever.
We are just tiny, stupid, inconsiderate and unimportant creatures, stuck on a dying earth, endlessly shuffling around a dull, dismal, daily grind which seems to acquire nothing but debts, complaints, and an overall sense of emptiness. And if you ever find yourself saying this to someone else, they'll just pat your shoulder, look you in the eye and say "That's life".

With that reckoning, we'd all better hope the afterlife has something better. Or something different at least. Cos let's be honest, it's Hell around here already.

Hang on, let the past catch up

You know those blissful moments when your mind wanders off its little beaten path and jumps into a pile of leaves; which can be ridiculous, inspirational or funny - or maybe a mad hybrid of all three? Well, I just had another inspirational one, so its time to use it and update my blog. Because it is getting rather ridiculous in itself - I swear its been so long since my last post, little cyber cobwebs are popping up everywhere.

Anyway, onto my latest point. This one: a personal philosophy.
My childhood is trying to catch up with me.

Now, I wasn't exactly a spoilt child, but similarly, I wasn't a neglected child. My family got a PlayStation 1 pretty early on, my Mother used to swear blind I was going to drown in LEGO, and at every point of time, there would be at least one epic fight going on in my room; Cubix vs. Optimus Prime, Giant Skeleton vs. a Cyberman etc. All-in-all, my childhood was the imagination and madness-stuffed colour explosion it should have been.
But there were always little things that I wanted but never got - "That's life", I seem to remember being told.

Yet now, I'm 19. I'm a nerd, I'm immensely childish most of the time and I've got what not many children never had - money. Not pocket money; not a quid your uncle gave you every time he felt like it/was drunk. Actual, strong money amounts that you earned by honestly working. [Although you'll never admit it to anyone older than yourself. So. Much. Gloating].
Plus, I am absolutely rubbish at saving money. If I see a DVD/game/book/t-shirt/classic artifact that I want, I'll [most of the time] get it and try and deal with the money-less-ness later.
So when I've got money from working and student loan behind me, and a paraphernalia-loving nature, I'm gonna go a little nuts. So yes, I do have a Mr Potato Head in my room, with a mini-slinky friend. I do have all 6 Star Wars films. I do have a small army of mini [fake]LEGO Daleks having a conference on my bookshelf.
And why?
Because I didn't have this stuff when I was an actual kid.
Because I am, in a fair few ways, still a kid.
Because I can afford to do it all, now anyway.

Maybe it really is just my childhood catching up with me. It still isn't over, not while I haven't got everything I wanted when I was a child.
So I'll keep searching, trying to find what I lost and didn't have.
Maybe then I'll grow up.

Not so easy, when considering just how much I did lose as a kid.
But that won't stop me from trying.
Peace out.  

If only ELO were still around...

Mr Grey Sky

Sun ain’t shining in the sky,

So many clouds in sight,
Won’t stop raining, nobody’s in the play,
Just so you know
It’s a typically wet day, hey, hey

Flooding down the avenue,

See how the rain falls quickly,
On the streets, they now are slippery,
Mister blue sky ignoring us today, hey, hey

Mr British sky, please tell us why,

You have to stay grey for so long,
Where did we go wrong? (x2)

Hey you with the soaking smile,

Welcome to the British Isles!
A realisation, Mr Blue sky’s resignation,
And today is a day we tried to avoid!

Mr British sky, please tell us why,

You have to stay grey for so long,
Where did we go wrong?
 
Hey there, Mr Grey,
Why can’t you just go away?
Look around, see what you do,
Everybody hating you. (x2)

Mr Grey sky

Mr Grey sky
Mr Grey sky

Mr Grey, winter’s alright
But we need summer light
You had your time, give us sun in its prime
Never mind
We’ll hate you in this
We’ll hate you in this way
 
Mr British sky, please tell us why,
You have to stay grey for so long,
Where did we go wrong?

Goodbye, Mister Blue

Were so pleased to be with you
Loved all you used to do,
Everybody misses you

Oops! Retraction necessary

This may well be my second shortest blog-post ever. [See Life Advice]
Since posting my 'Job-searching' post, an agency contacted me saying they had found me part time work in various warehouses.
I even have a five day work next week.
So yeah, never mind! Just ignore the last post. Read something else. I recommend anything by Neil Gaiman =]
Peace out!

Defeated by 2 words

Wow, been a fair bit of time since I last posted on here. Well, let's all break the Writer's-Block-Ice with a good old fashioned, grumpy-teenager rant. This time, dear and appreciated readers, it's two little words which can drain the life and enthusiasm out of any strong-willed character:
Job hunting
Quite possibly one of the most depressing past times, after cleaning up road-kill and before listening to James Blunt, this little gem of a way of spending an afternoon has reduced me - usually an optimistic and cheerful sort of fellow - to a suicidal, groaning, mumbling mess.

I had not seen this much rejection in most of my life. The basic task of job-hunting is as follows:
Seeker searches online
Finds nothing
Repeat
Finds a small scrap of a something
Puts all emphasis into applying
- Agonised waiting period -
Turned down/no reply

Hmm, confidence is taking a bit of a knock. Guess I'll head into town tomorrow, go from shop to shop. See what I find.

Heads downtown
Tries shop 1
Nothing
Repeat action for shops 1 through 7
Shop 8: "Well, we're not hiring just now, but you can drop in a CV and we'll let you know when something comes up
[PS: Translation: No]
Shop 9: You'll have to apply online
Repeat internet instructions
Shop 10: We're actually hiring in December

Well, confidence and enthusiasm is truly depleting now. Applying may become more weary and wasting by now.
Added on to the fact that employment agencies require half of your life story to even consider registering you, and that such a large percentage of the country's population is job-hunting, what chance does a student trying to find work for a few months stand?

Now, I know some of you will be thinking "Now come on, Rob. Surely things aren't all that bad"
[I'm willing to bet these people are already employed]
But I'll give you a strong example.
Just today I tried to apply for a part-time job in KFC - joy. I had just clicked 'Submit' at the end of writing something the length of War and Peace and casually decided to check my emails.
I had submitted at 16:33.
At 16:34, I received an email, stating "Thanks, but sorry you have not been successful".

Hum. Well, I guess I'm just happy watching my confidence and optimism wash quickly down this drain here. At least the MASSIVE rainfall of today is speeding up matters.
Roll on Year 2 of University.
I'm tired of being at home already.

Have a pleasant evening!

Editing The Sun

Unidentified Lying Objects

Families last night claimed a dozen glowing orange objects buzzed over Basingstoke. In the latest U.F.O riddle to grip Britain, witnesses say the ‘alien’ fleet hovered above the Hampshire town for half an hour.

Amateur astronomer David Osborne, camera-man of the unearthly phenomenon, said yesterday: “my adrenaline was pumping and I was trembling all over. I’ve never see anything like it…it was amazing”.

David yelled to his two daughters to grab his camera after he phoned nearby R.A.F Odiham officials, who could not comment ‘for security reasons’. 

The family had just settled down to watch alien invasion movie Independence Day when the objects were spotted at 10:40pm on Saturday. The ‘crafts’ drifted across the sky, switching between varied formation before eventually disappearing.

By 11 o’clock, the skies were clear once more.

This second sighting comes 2 months after a similar story appeared in the Basingstoke Evening News on 16^th November 2010. Sightings of U.F.Os were reported by several households in the High Street. Mrs Jones, seventy-six, claims to have been abducted. Strangely on that occasion, another alien movie was showing on television: Invaders from Mars. Are these incidents connected? Do these families owe an acknowledgement to Hollywood?

Do you want to live on this planet anymore?

-

See the original article here.

Halls of Resident Survival Guide

So, you've chosen to study at Bath Spa University. But before you delve in to 3 years of work and occasional partying [or vice versa], there's one element you're likely going to have to come to terms with very quickly.

Halls of Residence.

Being taken from your own home and thrown into a new building with up to nine other strangers. Sounds like a hostage situation, but if you play right and live well, your first year will just shoot by. You may even miss Halls when it comes to years 2 and 3.
First thing to remember: You're all in the same boat. Everyone, or at least almost everyone, around you is going to be away from home, living with people they don't know. It's a new and scary situation for everyone. Which actually comes in handy, because it means you all have at least one thing in common.

Some may relish in their new freedom, playing loud music, drinking lots of alcohol, going out all the time and so on. Others may find being away from home too much, and turn to things like Skype and may even go home every few weekends. In either case, you're likely to fall into either two categories, and from there, find friends. People of a quieter nature tend to stick together, and party-people often like to party with the same people. Embrace your freedom and discover what you want!

Some people's music sucks. This isn't a fact, but it's an opinion you're bound to say/hear multiple times in Halls. You have 8+ teenagers, all of which will like music = fact. They will all like different music = Fact. You will like everything they like = Highly unlikely. Even students studying music won't admit to liking everything, so why would a history student or a English student?
Like so many other things, sadly, you'll just have to put up with it. If someone is blasting out Ed Sheeran and all you want to listen to is Gorillaz, then put in headphones and carry on with things.
You could even declare music war - two stereos, battling out to break the silence anyway they can.
Not recommended.
Because before you consider beginning a deafening one-on-one Beats Battle, think of other people. Granted, their peace is being disturbed by the first loud one. But the last thing they want is another disturbance thrown in.
Just politely ask for them to turn it down (if they can hear you) and get on with things. If they don't listen, try engaging them in conversation. They might turn off their beloved tunes to chat.

With noise hopefully under control, then comes the matter of 'sharing'. Now, this can be a tough subject. The time may come when you learn that someone else used your ketchup/milk/butter whatever else. So you may decide to label your food. You won't look cool, but there's a chance you'll save a little money on replacing food you didn't eat. If it turns out someone has taken your food, there's a preliminary do and don't.
DO mention it to them, but not in an accusing way. Just a polite "please be more careful" kind of thing for the first offence. Any times after that, the accusations can come become stronger.
DON'T get revenge. Drinking someone's milk because they drank yours won't necessarily help matters. If anything, it'll probably escalate things.


Plan your showers. Quite an odd piece of advice now, but it may save you time and stress. If you and another housemate have a 9am start and you both want a shower, two options:
1. Wake up earlier so you have time - HAH! Like that will happen. 
2. Have a shower the night before.
Rather more likely. It'll save you a mad rush in the morning, as well as a lot of huffing and tapping your foot outside the shower-room door.

Because, no matter what, you will have to live with these people for another year [or 48 weeks at least]. As long as it doesn't break all of your moral values, you're going to want to keep the peace. Overlook the windows left open or underpants left on the sofa. If all goes against you, chances are you'll have a lockable bedroom where you can just have some 'you time'.
When it comes down to it, though, you're going to have to learn to adapt to other people; even if it's difficult. Every single one of you will have different attitudes and methods towards things like cleanliness, tidiness, peacefulness and so on. In the beginning, it all seems to have come from Chaos itself. But eventually, eventually, your routines will become almost second-nature and all of you will flow, relatively smoothly, around each other.
It'll just take a while to reach that idyllic moment.

But stick at it. You may not like Halls, but you'll probably miss them. There's nothing like being able to roll out of bed and basically walk up the road to your lessons. Second year off-campus housing takes that liberty right away from you.
Plus, you may pay the rent, but bills and internet are all taken care of for you. You even get your own cleaners twice a week. And as much as you'd love to imagine so, that sort of thing will not happen in second year.

And the final piece of advice: anything can happen. Sometimes you'll find a housemate's mattress outside and their bed frame wedged in the bathroom. In this, or any similar case, just follow basic protocol:
It's Someone Else's Problem.
[Voice of experience]

What to do if trapped in a Horror Film

So, the unthinkable happens. Like some bizarre homage to The Hunger Games, someone manages to trap you within a horror film.
Here are a few tips that, won't necessarily help you survive, but will certainly allow you to blend in and happily settle in to your new role in "Disgusting Chainsaw-Wielding Bleeding Demons from Hell 4".

1. Don't mince words. If you are trying to avoid a "7 foot, blood stained, red-eyed, spike covered, meat hook-wielding, perverted maniac", then for heaven's sake say so. 'The monster' or 'what-the-hell-is-that-thing' won't have quite the same effect.
2. Always state the obvious. "It's too dangerous", "I'm scared", "Don't go, I love you" - things like these which can turn the simplest of viewer's brain to sponge cake are perfect.
3. Decide you're better off alone. Sure, a group can provide more targets, protection or maybe just a decent conversation [but don't get your hopes up] By all means, if walking off by yourself equipped with nothing but a baseball bat -which is sure to stop blood-thirsty ghosts - is what seems right to you, do it.
4. Darkness is your friend. It has to be, other horror-movie-attendees seem to believe so. In darkness you won't see the thing trying to kill you, which by far will make your experience a lot less terrifying. Apparently.
5. And finally, when the time comes that the huge slime-monster from some haunted lagoon is sprinting at you with the clear intention to murder, then make absolutely sure that you stand completely still, screaming your head off, until the monster finally reaches you and actually takes your head off.

Also for your consideration:
- If you are a male, your chances will go one of two ways. You will die gruesomely, or you'll be that one person in about 6 who actually survives the horrors. And go on towards therapy, presumably.
- If you are female, your chances will too go on of two ways. You will die gruesomely. Or you will be raped. And then die gruesomely. Depending on the age rating of the film, of course.

We hope that this information will help you, should you somehow get downloaded into a horror movie of some kind.
And remember the number one piece of advice. Rather opposing the number one piece of advice of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But this isn't science fiction. This is a world where haunting horrors from hell are trying to destroy you. So remember advice piece 1:
PANIC.

When Crazy Words Lead to Marriages

There are two important and popular facts that make this story gain more sense.
1. A few/many/however-many years ago, a young, creative idiot created a word; a word that never really entered everyday consciousness, yet meant a lot to its creator. This word was "insaniac" - (n) word blend of 'insane' and 'maniac'.
2. The same creative idiot and his equally creative friend once planned to run around a busy shopping centre, hidden in large cardboard boxes. For fun, probably.

Anyway.

So many or however-many years later - AKA quite recently - in a simple yet paradigmatic mad facebook conversation, the same box-suggesting friend happened to use the 'word' insaniac.
Suddenly, the word's creator went mad! His word had been used by another!
So, trying to hold his excitement, the young word-creating hero promised ALL of his love to the word-using heroine/princess [depending on how politically-correct you want this fairytale. Some women are cut out to be heroines, some just like being princesses willing to be loved and/or saved from a fire-breathing dragon. Hell, I'm not the damn head of the PC federation. Let's get back to this damned story!]
The young princess/heroine/well-developed-young-woman-who-has-full-potential-to-be-JUST-as-successful-as-a-man then tried to remember where she had heard the word. She seemed almost scared - the demand from the word-smith seemed rather too much. For a split second, she feared almost death itself.

Yet then she revealed that she HAD heard the word from the actual creator.
And thus earned ALL the love from the word-smith.
She admitted to feeling like she had been proposed to, from the insaniac world.
So the male word-smith actually proposed a wedding - with a box theme.

[-For those who have stuck around until this point and aren't still stuck in my PC rant, you'll be happy to learn that you are (hopefully) clever enough to realise that by now, BOTH of the preliminary points have now been addressed-]
MOVING ON!

The wedding plans between the two, now bonded together stronger than ever before, began from there. On the day of Box Matrimony, there they would be. She, with a furniture box styled dress and microwave-meal-sleeve veil. He in a modestly selected cereal-box tuxedo.
And they would love each other forever.
They would see boxing matches. They would fly box-kites. They would play Boxhead.
Not because the author ran out of box puns and typed in 'box' into Google, no, that would be outrageous. It would be due to the fact that they liked to...kills zombies online. Apparently.

An insaniac life for an 'insaniac' creator and insaniac 'user'.
And boxes.
Don't forget the boxes.