[Alphabetical order just took a knock]
To me, Anticipation is - as my title so wonderfully suggests - an incredible mixture of both joy and disappointment. Take my current mindset: in two days, BioShock Infinite - a game I am insanely desperate to finally play - will finally hit the shelves.
But for every day leading up to it, I find myself perched on an uncomfortable fence, with positives on one side and negatives on the other.
In one way, Anticipation is actually quite fun. It's what makes the first 24 days of December exciting when you're a kid, car rides to theme parks became manic, even walking to the cinema to see a long-awaited film reaches an enjoyable level of tension. For some reason, there seems to be a small part of us that enjoys the wait. We know that something good is coming, but can't have it yet, oh no, not yet, no sir, not yet, just gotta build the tension, that's it, build the tension, want it more and more, want it want it want it, til it drives you mad, yes sir, madder than you've ever been, enough for an asylum, just too much desire, so much want, that's it, wanting so much...
[I think I need to stop reading so many Stephen King novels. Although I am devouring The Green Mile. SO good.]
Anyway, there's something about a wait. It teaches you patience - up to a point. It also makes you enjoy the thing you wait for even more special. If everything you ever wanted came to you the minute you desired it, you'd never learn appreciation and your life would be a sinking mass of books, films and games which don't mean QUITE as much to you as they could.
So yeah. Waiting can be good for you.
OR
Waiting's an absolute bitch. For the last 28 days or so, when I knew Infinite's release date was set in stone, I just ended up counting the days. Every morning I woke up and went "27 days", "26 days", "25 days". Then your mind does this amazing thing of pointing out "Well it's 24 days tomorrow".
Well that's great, Brain, but I've got an another agonising 24 hours before we deal with that little chestnut. And then 24 DAYS until a fanastic coconut of ecstasy. *ahem*
It may teach you appreciation and patience, Anticipation, but MY GOD it stretches it some days. Like the days when you might catch an advert for whatever it is on TV or someone in the background on the bus mentions it and you just want to clamp your ears shut and run off into a little time machine which will transport you to the 26th of March. [Or whatever]
It can make you grumpy, irritable or - a fact which my housemates have rapidly come to terms with - it will make most of your conversations focus on one particular subject. I feel I should have installed a "BioShock Infinite-mention-swear-jar" at the beginning of March. I either would have kept my mouth shut or saved up enough to put Peter Kay's Comic Relief efforts to shame. [Oh snap!]
I think I preferred my Boredom discussion. But maybe that was because I didn't have one of the biggest moments in my gaming career just 39hours away from me. But still, we can draw a conclusion from my incessant ramblings:
Anticipation is another one of those rare occurrences which can lead to two completely opposite emotions colliding. There aren't many other mind-frames which can develop such a ridiculous paradox. Should anyone wade their way through my words long enough to reach this point and manage to come up with a decent suggestion, I'd be very open to a discussion.
And if not, I'm normally open to discussions anyway. Bring up BioShock Infinite and I'll talk at you until your ears self-combust.
*
The next part of this post is aimed directly at Future-Me, who will one day eventually return to his blog and re-read this. Any casual readers may stop now if they so wish or may stick around for this argument through time.
Hey. Future-Me. I know you're reading this. I know you've reached that Arrogant/Bored phase mixture where all you want to do is re-read your own words.
I also know that by now, you'll own BioShock Infinite and will have already played it. Hell, by now, you may have already completed it.
I just want you to know I hate you. You, with your "Ooh, look at me, I've lived longer than you and played more games than you. Ooh, I've already played a game which you've been waiting for, for such a long time. Nyeh-Nyeh!" I hate you. I hate anyone who's already played this game.
And I want you to know that when you and I finally meet, Future-Me, I promise I will punch you in your stupid, higher-aged face.
I can only hope I'm not too painful.
*
Thus concludes my Blog-post and my Rant-Through-the-Time-Vortex. Anyone who's stuck around long enough, I'm sorry you had to see that argument between the 'Me-s'. Be very good to one another, and to anyone else hopelessly awaiting the third instalment in 2K's wonderful ensemble, just know this my friend: I feel for you. I really do.
Anticipation. You're far too confusing for me. I'm going back to Boredom.
