You know those blissful moments when your mind wanders off its little beaten path and jumps into a pile of leaves; which can be ridiculous, inspirational or funny - or maybe a mad hybrid of all three? Well, I just had another inspirational one, so its time to use it and update my blog. Because it is getting rather ridiculous in itself - I swear its been so long since my last post, little cyber cobwebs are popping up everywhere.
Anyway, onto my latest point. This one: a personal philosophy.
My childhood is trying to catch up with me.
Now, I wasn't exactly a spoilt child, but similarly, I wasn't a neglected child. My family got a PlayStation 1 pretty early on, my Mother used to swear blind I was going to drown in LEGO, and at every point of time, there would be at least one epic fight going on in my room; Cubix vs. Optimus Prime, Giant Skeleton vs. a Cyberman etc. All-in-all, my childhood was the imagination and madness-stuffed colour explosion it should have been.
But there were always little things that I wanted but never got - "That's life", I seem to remember being told.
Yet now, I'm 19. I'm a nerd, I'm immensely childish most of the time and I've got what not many children never had - money. Not pocket money; not a quid your uncle gave you every time he felt like it/was drunk. Actual, strong money amounts that you earned by honestly working. [Although you'll never admit it to anyone older than yourself. So. Much. Gloating].
Plus, I am absolutely rubbish at saving money. If I see a DVD/game/book/t-shirt/classic artifact that I want, I'll [most of the time] get it and try and deal with the money-less-ness later.
So when I've got money from working and student loan behind me, and a paraphernalia-loving nature, I'm gonna go a little nuts. So yes, I do have a Mr Potato Head in my room, with a mini-slinky friend. I do have all 6 Star Wars films. I do have a small army of mini [fake]LEGO Daleks having a conference on my bookshelf.
And why?
Because I didn't have this stuff when I was an actual kid.
Because I am, in a fair few ways, still a kid.
Because I can afford to do it all, now anyway.
Maybe it really is just my childhood catching up with me. It still isn't over, not while I haven't got everything I wanted when I was a child.
So I'll keep searching, trying to find what I lost and didn't have.
Maybe then I'll grow up.
Not so easy, when considering just how much I did lose as a kid.
But that won't stop me from trying.
Peace out.
