Well, my name's Rob. I'm from Andover, locally known as Chav-central, and non-locally known nowhere. And it seems that slowy and surely, we won't even be known locally at all.
Take our high street. Betting shop, cafe, cafe, charity shop, betting shop, cafe, MASSIVE POUNDLAND, bank, charity shop, bank, bank, cafe, betting shop - you get the idea. You can see why it may be considered a chav homeland. In fact I think we're one or two Primarks away from every chav in the world moving in. But hey, we have the large pointless housing estates to home them all! Anyway, it isn't an appealing enough shopping precinct to entice others to spend lots of money to truly support the shops.
Unfortuntately, this leads to the so many "For let" signs. At least it means the 'For-Let-sign-making' businesses will thrive! That's something....I guess.
But so many people don't know of us. I spend lots of time at college, or online my PS3 talking to south englanders. 'Andover' doesn't appear in their geographies.
We do hold some records though. Our Tae Kwon-Do club (of which I'm proudly a member) has received constant admiration at big tornaments. Our Britax child-car-seats are used worldwide. Our radio station 'Andover Sound' has won many worldwide awards.
These aren't amazing things, I will easily admit, and it hasn't really lead to anything either. People online ask me where I'm from and we eventually narrow it down to 'Andover', and all I see is question marks.
I don't know. Our businesses are slowly dying. We're hardly known anyway. Our residents spend so much time complaining, or drunk. Or both. So are we going to survive? Unlikely.
One day Basingstoke will probably just expand and swallow us. I can see our new sign now:
Andover. Twinned with the Moon
Peace out. Come visit us! XD
I heard we're also the drug capital of England. Or at least the South.
ReplyDeleteDidn't think it was possible to feel this damn proud.