A few of my closer friends may have picked up on the fact that if they say to me jokingly "It's all your fault", I immediately act defensively and tell them to not say that.
I think it's about time to explain why; on here, because blogs are good listeners. One warning: it's by far not a happy read. If you wish to be happy for the remainder
I'm five years old. It's the 2nd of october, 1998. And not far past midday, I get summoned to the headmaster's office, to be told that my father has passed away.
So, yeah. Life changes forever, psychological episodes probably set in and our family becomes sadly unique.
Less than a week later, the nightmares set in.
A monster, or a demon, or a devil or whatever has my father in a cage, suspended over spikes, lava, water, acid anything. I am set one or more truly impossible tasks - the true details are sketchy.
I always get back not in time to save him, but in time to see the monster or whatever declare that I failed, and releases the lever, releasing the cage.
My father dies, and an assortment of voices, coming from relatives, friends or just truly terrifying possessed voices bombard me with "it's all your fault. it's all your fault. it's all your fault" again and again, echoing about my mind, sometime even after I woke up.
It's horrible what your own mind can do. But you can see how a scary psychological episode in your childhood like that can stick around for a while.
So, 4 words that I don't like. Just one of those things.
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